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How to be sucessful on Tinder: A guide

Your TODO-list

  • be at least 183 cm (6’) tall

What next?

You create a Tinder account—the pictures don’t matter, what matters is your bio; what should you put in there? It’s quite obvious that your bio should speak about your inner personality… the best things about yourself, but also—jokingly—the worst. Your hobbies, what you do for a living, where you study, what you like—all of those are important for a good bio. A good bio that I found works—and mind you, this is a template, so just fill it in—is this:

<your height, if you’re above 6’>

This will guarantee a steady influx of matches at all times, women will reply to you steadily—even if you text them the most autistic shit ever. With this method I have achieved over 15 matches in a day, with 30 likes. The hoes reply immediately, bar few that are actually more attractive than me. I text them extremely autistic shit, and they actually try to reply. What gives? Of course, the bio.

So… you’ve got the match

Don’t fuck this up. It’s a match—she likes you, you like her. You need to think this through—what to text, what she will reply, you need to have all this shit figured out. The message that works the best, I found, as a starting message—or as some call it, a pickup line—is this:

Why aren’t you texting me first…… why are women always like this….. if I don’t get a blowjob in a week, bad things will happen….. I’m sorry I said this…..

Afterwards, she tells you she likes you, and if she lives close enough, tell her some shit like yeah lets go out somewhere women like to hang out. Did you have sex? No? I don’t think you put in your real height into the bio.

Author: zd