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Why am I involuntarily celibate? A response in statistics

The sex ratio

For every 100 human females born in a given period of time, an average of 108 males come to this world. This remains constant across cultures, countries and decades. Let us assume that 5% of the population of each sex turns out to be homosexual. This means 5 women and about 6 men. Without any discriminating factors in life expectancy, by the time these babies reach adulthood, there will be 102 heterosexual men for every group of 95 heterosexual women. Under a regime of monogamy, 7 men will not be paired with any woman. About 7% will be involuntary celibates.

Fortunately for those who dread a life of loneliness, men die younger than women, for a plethora of reasons. In our modern world, suicide is the leading cause of death among young men. So if you manage not to kill yourself, by the time you reach age 50, there will be an equal number of women and men. Afterwards, the amount of men per 100 women does not stop decreasing. If you manage to keep a good health, are lucky and do not kill yourself, by the time you reach the venerable age of 90 years, there will be two women for every man your age. Truly a paradise of dating, isn’t it? The dating market for ages 15–50 is thus skewed in favour of women, but when men reach the age at which erectile dysfunction becomes a frequent occurence in their lives, the market is skewed in their favour.

If you paid a little bit of attention, you will have remarked that, as a man, you are getting the short end of the stick here. Aside from the health problems inherent to the third age, several consequences are to be taken into account. At any moment, somewhat over 90% of men can be dating. Nothing more. The remaining 5–10% will not keep still. Your partner will get hit on by other men. For her not to be hit on by other men, she would have to either be so hideous (be it mentally or physically) as to make other men prefer celibacy over her company, or forcefully celibate men would have to give up their claim on a partner. Or, it could be that she never sees another man “in the danger zone”.

None of that is going to happen. This means that, even if you are not part of the “untouchable 10%”, you will still be unable to sleep on both your ears. You will not stop fighting for your partner. Eventually, you are bound to lose her to another man. Such is life under the cruel tyranny of a skewed statistic.

Females as sexual selectors